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Yet, blame is not the solution.

Because she and he,

and you and I,

and we and they


have the power within each decision

to change the course,

to re-build a life,

to start over,

to do better.

No, sins of the fathers and mothers are not passed down to the children,

But children learn from examples of their parents—

are trained and shaped and fashioned

by early happenings, instructings, nurturings (or lack thereof).

With a lack of wisdom

folly trickles down from generation to generation…

in divorce, substance abuse,

unhealthy addictions,

violence, unrestrained anger,

neglect, selfishness, apathy,

pride, incarceration…

(unfortunately, the list is endless).


Struggles fill her days,

cares and concerns grip her heart…

as now, years later, wounds are still tender,

as she continues digging up past troubles…

If only you had…

It wouldn’t have been so bad if…

Why didn’t you…?

Picking at flesh… unsightly scabbing… picking some more…

Deeper, wider, uglier, open wounds exposed to infection,

continuing the cycle of destruction,

giving root to bitterness…

Stirring up reminders, cluttering the mind, clogging her heart,

Blocking the way for grace to be poured out,

Where forgiveness and mercy long to flow.


No matter the face or the name,

the cause or perpetrator of the injury,

the wound begs healing, attempts closure—

Creation’s laws will bring restored life,

to form from new cells and fresh skin…

if only she would stop picking at the past.


Yes, a scar will remain, but only a scar.

(And who doesn’t have their share of scars?)

With time scars fade and pain subsides—

If we let it.

By setting the past aside.

Forget what’s behind,

offer mercy, forgiveness,

love that forbears and refuses to count transgressions…

Because she and he,

you and I,

we and they

have immeasurable need of mercy and forgiveness.

Stop the cycle.


Release the claim to blame.

It only compounds the hurt.

Will she stop picking and allow healing,

opening herself and those closest to her

to God’s restorative plans?