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 This isn’t a food blog,

or a cooking, baking, recipe, health or nutrition blog.

But you’re about to see some photos of my favorite foods—

Foods that are on my forbidden list…

delicacies my body consumes very rarely and only at its own risk.

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Having inherited more of my father’s genetic tendencies than my mother’s,

and since chronic health issues began plaguing me several years ago,

I’ve had to learn what I should and should not eat,

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(if I don’t want to spend the rest of my life tired, sick or on meds),

while devoting—ideally—a portion of each day to exercise.

A hospital bedside table sits next to my treadmill…

with my laptop there,

I’m able to walk and write and catch up on emails at the same time.

This restricted, for-the-rest-of-my-life diet includes:

No sugar.

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No white, enriched or bleached stuff (flour, rice, pasta, etc.)

Low sodium.

Little dairy.

Minimally processed.

Only healthy fats.

And lots of walking.

As a preacher’s wife, my pastimes are already limited.

Unfortunately, though,

 my weekly planner is filled with

banquets, pot-lucks, bridal and baby showers, ladies’ lunches,

finger-food-fellowships, and church socials of every kind,

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—because after all, we Baptists do like to eat

in between our thrice-weekly services.

(Is it any wonder?)

In the past when my kids were little,

people stared at me with mouth gaping,

like I had two heads or something,

when I said very politely,

No, thank you. We don’t eat candy

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These same people looked at my bumpy, whole grain rolls and natural peanut butter,

and asked, Eewww… What is THAT?

Or…

So, you really like all that rabbit food, huh?

I do eat a lot of salads—but only for survival.

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Taking healthy food when traveling is hugely inconvenient,

not to mention annoying…

it just invites more comments.

A few well-meaning individuals offer substitutes—

If you’re looking for a sugar-free dessert, how ‘bout these dried persimmons?

(And people wonder why sometimes in social settings I’m a grouch.

Sorry—I don’t mean to be.

But just because I have will power doesn’t mean it’s easy to sit there

and not envy what’s on your plate!)

I came up with a new motto:

If you promise not to sneer at my spelt rolls,

I promise not to drool on your donuts.

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Have you ever noticed the prettier the food is,

the less healthy it is?

There was a time when I’d stand in my pantry

and look at the cookies and chips and frosted cereals…

and cry.

And even though I’m not old yet,

I completely understand why a lot of old folks are grumpy:

they’re not allowed to eat anything that tastes good!

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But honestly, after all these years,

I’m getting used to this way of eating.

Really.

(Well, most of the time anyway,

with the exception of summer barbecues and the holidays…

I have been known to take a pinch or two off a fudge-y, gooey brownie occasionally.)

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 But I have to tell you… it has come to this:

I decided to inform my family,

If I’m ever on my deathbed,

and the doctor says,

I’m sorry—she only has six weeks to live.

You are to feed me SWEETS!

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Luscious, glorious, marvelously unhealthy, irresistible sweets!

Ice cream, donuts, In-n-Out Burger milkshakes, brownies, cheesecake,

more ice cream, pecan shortbread cookies, peanut M & M’s,

pastries, pies, pudding, everything pumpkin,

and that triple-layered-chocolate cake from Costco!

And let me die happy!

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Wonder why I believe in Heaven?

Because for all of eternity I’ll get to eat whatever I want!

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