Feeling my way blindly in inky blackness, I couldn’t find the light switch. The thin corridor stretched fifty feet in front of me. I knew my bearings only by the rugs under my feet, hand railings, the stairs, a sliver of light under the door at the far end.
It wasn’t a place completely unfamiliar. But normally the lights are on as I make my way from one end to the other. And my thoughts are already ahead of me, on the errand or a person or the work waiting for me in the next room. But not this time.
On that particular morning I inched my way forward, one tentative step at a time as quietly as possible… a meeting was in progress on the other side of the wall.
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When blackness descends so thickly I am swallowed whole, its very presence weighs heavily and my spirit crouches for fear of what lies ahead.
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On this morning springtime washes the room in sunlight. But the future looms darkly in front of me. And I grope to find my way.
I sense my spirit beginning to buckle under the pressure. Kneeling beside the bed is my habit when serious prayer is needed. Yet, words fail…
Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God. – Romans 8:26-27
Even as my vision obscures all but the present, my God sees the path stretching before me… from the first instant my body was conceived to the moment I take my last breath, He sees the whole of my life, the entirety of all our lives—this One whose existence has always been, will always be. Nothing escapes His notice. Every moment of every day is open before Him, from my first step to my last, from Point A to Point Z and to every point in between.
Still, worries and fears rush in. And I ache with not knowing…
But God, what if…? What about…? Why couldn’t we…? How do I even pray when I don’t know what is ahead…?
His voice stills my anxious, wondering thoughts…
…for your Father knows the things you have need of before you ask Him. – Matthew 6:8
I do know this. After years of coming to Him, I know that He knows. And I’m aware of His head shaking in gentle rebuke at my worries… my useless worries.
My God sees, and is already prepared for what comes my way. In darkness or light, good or bad, thrilling or mundane—it matters not. His vision cannot be obscured by circumstances or complications or conflicts or what might lurk around some corner.
So, when words fail, His presence assures—no words are necessary. Because He is there ahead of me. He was there in my past. He is present in this moment, this place, this time of need right here, right now. And He Is. The eternally existent One.
In the knowing, I can rest. Still kneeling as the moments pass, I remain at my bedside, upheld by His indescribable peace, surpassing my own understanding. And there in the light of His calm, darkness lifts… and I find respite.
Call to me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know. – Jeremiah 33:3